War for the Planet of the Apes
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War for the Planet of the Apes

War for the Planet of the Apes here’s a movie pitch: Woody Harrelson rules over a kingdom of CGI apes. War for the Planet of the Apes Disaster ensues. A comedy? I’d like to think so. But here comes War for the Planet of the Apes, the final volume of the rebooted Planet of the Apes franchise, out to spite me. This is a capital S, capital M, Serious Movie. Here’s how I know. It’s got a runtime of two hours and 20 minutes, but it wasn’t directed by Judd Apatow, which means it’s definitely not a comedy, because who else in comedy would dare. It’s got the Serious Movie Starter Kit™ color palette, too, its hues averaging out to something between gray and grayer, as if the director, Matt Reeves, had consulted a mood board composed of a slab of wet concrete when dreaming up the movie.

More urgently, however, War for the Planet of the Apes has got heavy themes, bolstered with references to other heavy movies. War is nothing if not ambitious. It is about the fight for the survival of two rival species: humans, who are still being wiped out by the lethal Simian flu, which originated as a treatment for Alzheimer’s disease; and apes, who were once the test subjects for said treatment, but who were accidentally made hyperintelligent, and thus threatening, by it. It’s a war “for the planet,” but the apes aren’t colonizers, really. They just want to survive. Led by the valiant, mean-mugging Caesar (Andy Serkis), the apes want to live separately, but equally. “Leave us the woods and the killing can stop,” offers Caesar. If the humans had only accepted, they’d have saved themselves, and saved us from this movie.

Duration: 140 min

Release:

IMDb: 7.4